Hmmmmm...

"The only person who is with us our entire life is ourselves."

George Carlin didn't say it like the emailed forward endlessly circulating the internet claims but it still struck me as profound. As an almost 33 year old unmarried, childless, only child, unless I marry someone, I am destined to be alone when my parents pass away which was a previously unnamed fear of mine. To be totally alone in this very large world. No sisters or brothers, no mom or dad, no nieces or nephews, no child, no husband. It makes you feel very small and frightened. You can say, "but you have friends"... let's face it. When it comes down to the bottom line, the only person you have is you. Period.

So I searched to find somebody to fill the space of significant other so I wouldn't be totally alone. I gave up looking for him after being lied to and cheated on continuously and got comfortable in my own skin. With being alone, with the thought of being childless, with showing up dateless, with my own company, with eating and shopping alone. Then he fell in my lap a few years later while I wasn't looking for anybody. Oh well.

Now he's here and I get this email that makes me stop and say hmmmmm. He may be here until I die and he may not. I hope he will but we're not promised tomorrow. I thankfully do not know my future but there are reasons you go through things in your life. I am now comfortable with the idea of being alone because I dealt with it while I was experiencing it. "Not that I speak in regard to need, for I have learned in whatever state I am, to be content." - Philippians 4:11

So when I was reminded that I am the only person that will be with me my entire life, even though he has been found now and I love him dearly, I know I will be okay if I find myself alone again. Because I'm okay with just me. I complete me. He is just a very great bonus.