Dr. Brené Brown–Daring Greatly

After having two friends mention the same person and the same talks in the same week, I decided I may need to heed the advice and listen. The first friend recommended the Super Soul Sunday programs with Oprah and the second friend mentioned the TED talks which spawned the Super Soul Sunday interviews with Oprah. Yeah.

I’m listening now.

Dr. Brown did 12 years of research about courage, confidence, joy, gratitude, and vulnerability among other things. In the process, she found those qualities in herself lacking and had what her therapist called it a Spiritual Awakening. Brené called it a meltdown. Here are the TED talks which are 20 minutes each and were filmed a few years back. Don’t think this is going to be like taking a beating when you click on it. She’s a Texas girl and has her sense of humor fully involved.

http://www.ted.com/talks/brene_brown_on_vulnerability.html – Part I

http://www.ted.com/talks/brene_brown_listening_to_shame.html – Part II

I’ve spoken before about showing our imperfections to the world. About putting it out there for folks to see and not caring if they judge us or not because honestly, EVERYBODY is screwed up in their own ways. The whole “normal is just a setting on your dryer” thing. Who cares what strangers may think or say when you know they are carrying just as much baggage as you but are still trying to hide it? I know that, for myself, hiding all of the initials, all of the disorders and obsessions and triggers has been impossible and trying to remember which secrets not to tell which person requires more memory and energy than I am willing to sacrifice. I decided to Speak My Truth and damn the consequences because stuffing it all down was just causing more problems for me. I had not used the word “vulnerable” but Brené, through research, and I through life experiences, have both came to the same conclusion. There is not enough perfection in the world that will guard against disappointment, trauma, anger or bitterness. There is not enough perfection that will make you feel worthy when what you feel is less than and unworthy of acceptance if you show the Real You. That’s why I invite you to Speak Your Truth. To show the cracks in your armor. To be vulnerable. To let go of perfection. To be Real. If your circle of family and friends do not respond in kind, find a new circle of friends and chose your own family. If you wake up everyday and make the choice to be real and vulnerable, you will eventually find yourself surrounded by people that do the same thing and support you in your vulnerability. I’ve got HUNDREDS of them and each and every one of them are fabulous people.

I enjoyed the Super Soul Sunday interviews with Oprah even more than the TED talks because Brené has learned more and is even further into a place of allowing herself to be vulnerable. To be even more real and authentic. I’ve only watched the first part so far and it is 40 minutes long but this was my favorite quote from it:

“Faith minus vulnerability and mystery equals extremism. Don’t call it faith if there’s no vulnerability or uncertainty. If you got all the answers, then don’t call what you do faith.”

Wow. How many people do you know that you can have a conversation with them about religion because they are so ABSOLUTELY CERTAIN that WHAT THEY BELIEVE is RIGHT, YOU ARE WRONG, SHUT UP! We all know folks like that. Some of us were raised by them. It’s not faith. It’s extremism. It’s armor against vulnerability. Because what if they’re not right? What if this whole concept they’ve based their lives on has cracks in it? They can’t allow themselves to even consider the possibility. If they do, it might make them uncertain and vulnerable.

Here are the links to the Super Soul Sunday talks. I highly recommend them. Turn off the ringer on your cell phone.

http://www.oprah.com/own-super-soul-sunday/Full-Episode-Oprah-and-Brene-Brown-on-Daring-Greatly-Video – Part I

http://www.oprah.com/own-super-soul-sunday/Full-Episode-Oprah-and-Brene-Brown-Part-2-Video – Part II