This one’s for Patty

I just got through reading one of her latest blog posts and well, frankly… she doesn’t sound too great.

Patty in the top left corner, Jackson, MS, 2003- Sweet Potato Queen Weekend

Pateeta, as we MBOL’ers know her, lives in Arizona, has ovarian cancer and after fighting a long and hard battle, is at the point that no treatment can do her any good. She has tumors in her abdomen and they are playing havoc with her appetite and ability to keep down food. After reading her latest blog, I didn’t know what to tell her. I still don’t know what to say. She’s on so much pain medicine at this point that she’s floating through her days but she knows that her time is getting shorter. I told her to tell me the words to say that would make a difference at this point, the words that would help her or the words she needed to hear and I would say them. Because I have wished and sent and prayed and prayed and prayed and asked and begged for peace and grace and love and strength for her and her family, I know of nothing else to say that doesn’t sound empty. Fake. I am not fake and neither is she. Patty is as real as they come and I think that’s why it hurts me so much that she is going through this. We need people like her on the Earth and it makes me mad that she is having to withstand the pain she is going through.

She is the type of person who you do not want mad at you, whether you be male or female, because there is no doubt in my mind that she could beat down whomever she chose to beat down. She is a rock and a rock star. She gets on Facebook every day and posts what she calls her “I’m still alive” status update. She takes nothing off of nobody. She is funny and irreverent and an Amazon. Instead of waiting until all of her hair fell out during chemo treatments, she went to her stylist, shaved her head and wore pink ‘do rags or a sassy wig. She is compassionate. Independent. Determined. Beautiful. Outspoken. She is grace under pressure. There is not one cell of weakness in her entire body. She is bold and courageous and she held her own Living Wake with bag pipers and food and dancing and laughter and booze a few weekends ago. It doesn’t get much tougher than that. The whole day, all of us that couldn’t attend the Living Wake, keep sending love through Facebook until almost every status update I saw that day was directed towards Patty. I was grinning from ear to ear and I know that if she was having a good day, she was too.

Tell the people you love that you love them while you have them. Do not wait. Patty just turned 50. She has a son still in high school who is not doing very well with his grades because of this. She is worried about him and he is worried about her. We do not know if we have tomorrow. Love the ones you have and let them know you love them. Keep Patty and her family in your thoughts and prayers. Do it for me and for her. If you have met her, I probably don’t even have to ask you. That’s the measure of a true Queen. Strangers are praying for her, she’s touched so many people’s hearts and lives.

These are the only words I know to say to Patty. Peace. Have peace and love and grace and be free from hurt and pain and when the time comes, know that it’s okay. That your family members are stronger for having seen your strong example. They know how to survive because you showed them how. Be at peace, my friend.